Ritual humiliation for the masses…

I’ve never been a fan of X-factor, Pop Idol, Opportunity Knocks or any of the other cyclical talent shows that clog up peak-viewing hour on the goggle-box at weekends. I’m sure they have their place, but whatever or wherever this is, it ain’t in my place.

No one with half an ear would ever claim that these light entertainment shows have any great musical worth, being ground from the same karioki roots as ‘Stars In Their Eyes’ (albeit with less fun, less musicality and often less validity). They are blatant money making exercises – slap, snaffle and plop…a musical roulette wheel of fortune for this year’s sickly gaggle of puffed up impresarios.

The latest flavour of milli-vanilli autotunism was launched with much hype, claiming to be based upon a veneer of musical respectability. ‘The Voice’ claimed to be all about the music, not the image – a ‘credible’ alternative to the Callowed wishy-wash of wall-to-wall poppertune-ities. Auditions would be ‘blind’, with ‘mentors’ not judges, thereby ensuring that true talent would shine through the bluff of image and prettification.

Bullshit.

I’ve dipped in and out of the shows to date, in between trips to the loo to decorate the toilet with Technicolor yawns. Because from what I’ve seen, ‘The Voice’ is the most cynical affront to musicality of the bunch, if for no other reason that it takes itself seriously and pretends to be about more than $$$$.

The ‘mentors’ are qualified only insofar as they are recognisable to the viewer. Because let’s face it, those who know this industry would trust the talent-spotting instincts of a successful artist less than they would an office tea-boy. Look at all the artist-owned labels over the years, from Swansong (Led Zeppelin’s ill-fated dabble with labelism) to U2’s equally abortive effort. Recognising talent is an art in itself, best left to those with that rare skill rather than Joe Public on the one hand or Lady Wannagag-a, SmileyIrishEyes, Tom (‘I knew Elvis, Sinatra, Jesus’) or Dollar-Eyes-am on the other. At least Callow knows what’ll sell, and if he gets it wrong he has the muscle to manipulate the market.

From what I’ve seen, ‘The Voice’ betrays its pretentious claims from the outset. If any viewer believes that the last few standing will include more than one taken baldie/fattie/oldie/ugly, then they’re wallowing in Cloud Cuckoo land. The winner will be a twenty-something, photogenic, girl or boy next door type (with her or her signature already scratched into a contract in the producer’s lawyer’s safe). But what is so gut-wrenching is the competitive nature of the show, with contestants paired up in a boxing ring – a bloody boxing ring, for Christ’s sake – and metaphorically poked by the ‘mentors’ to outscream one another.

I’ve rarely, if ever, seen anything quite so tasteless since watching Hughie Green leer at Lena Zaveroni’s twelve-year-old cleavage.

Any self-respecting musician should be ashamed to participate in this sordid travesty of an entertainment show. In its own way, I find it as disgusting as the Black And White Minstrels show, which also justified its existence on the basis of mega viewing figures.

We’ll look back on this string of shoddy karioki competitions with embarrassment, recognising that they did more to damage the standing of pop and rock music than digital file-sharing or Eurovision.

Ten years ago, when Pop Idol sued X-factor and vice versa, Universal GAVE Battery Studios to the A+R man behind Pop Idol in settlement of a law suit bought for signing the winning act in contravention to the contractual conditions participants had agreed when entering the competition. Universal had acquired Battery within the context of their (forced) purchase of Zomba. They tossed it at an irritating litigant to resolve a talent show headache and he immediately flogged the studio to a property developer to cash in his ill-gotten gains, thereby proving that the major record company and the television talent-show mogul were at one in utterly disregarding (if not despising) the mechanics of true music.

A plague on all your houses.

On the other hand…

Huge congratulations to Kate Bush for winning this year’s South Bank Pop Awards in addition to nominations for just about every other award going. She has yet again proved an inspiration to aspiring artists determined to retain their individuality and identity despite the massive pressures to conform to the lowest common denominator applied by wall-to-wall television karioki shows.

It can be done, although it requires a determination and belief (not to mention a degree of talent) that is rare indeed.

At long last Phil English’s ‘Full English Podcast’ is here!

This brand new podcast runs for an amazing two and a half hours so make a flask of coffee or tea and settle down to the latest issue.

This month Phil joins new co-host Neil Morgan to look at monitoring and mastering.  After discussing the latest monitors Phil’s been trying out with Neil, Phil heads over to leading London mastering facility Fluid Mastering to talk with mastering engineers Tim Debney and Nick Watson about stem mastering, loudness, dynamic range and lot’s more .

Fluid Mastering Studios

Click here to get the podcast and catch up if this is the first time you’ve been here.

Snap, Crackle, Pop!

There is one simple aim when mastering -  make it sound like a record.

I’ve been working on a new single for a very well known, iconic 1960s band. The A side is a new live recording, and the B a hitherto unreleased track from many years ago, taken from an acetate.

For you younger readers, acetates were one off, one sided vinyl test pressings, with a very limited life; after a few plays, the thin plastic outer layer began to wear out,and the record got very scratchy and crackly.  This particular acetate has had its share of plays over the years, and before I even heard it, I knew I wouldn’t be able to restore it completely. No matter – the song is great, the performance full of energy, and the recording itself very well made. It’s the kind of track an A&R would hear and sign the band on the spot – that’s how good.

What struck me as I listened, was how the crackles and static and noise added a very distinct sense of time and place and atmosphere that would not be at all evident in an antiseptically clean, overly enhanced digitised remaster. This is certainly not true of most things dug up from the vaults….and it set me thinking; how best to reconcile this with the newly recorded A side song, when there’s such a huge sonic divide between them? How best to convey a sense of continuity and purpose between the band then and now?

It was obvious, and completely contrary to the precepts of mastering: -  add crackles and pops and scratches and static and noise to the CLEAN track! So I looped up some vinyl gubbins from the disc, shoved it onto the new song, and what do you know – it sounds like a record!

This is the kind of conceptually sound ,if technically insane idea which I come up with from time to time, and hope to get away with. I liked it, at any rate. However, the label told me that the single is a prequel for a new live album – so promotionally it’s ,er, not exactly ideal….

But I’m going to send them the scratchy one anyway!

Visit Fran Ashcroft’s website

Michael Johnson whose many credits include Blue Monday’s best-selling UK 12” record ever has experience not just of creating hit records, but also recording orchestral, jazz and folk music, as well as film soundtracks and TV commercials at many top studios.

Russell Cottier visited Michael with his camera to record a very interesting interview that contains many very interesting recording techniques and tips with some interesting history. Michael tells Russ about his experiments with mixing in a car and much more!

Click here to watch the video

Latest Producer and Studio Feature News

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Latest features

There are lot’s of new videos on RP, too many to list since the last newsletter but a few highlights include:

Stuart Bruce recalls the Live Aid session

Edd Hartwell started out as Trevor Horn’s apprentice and has now gone solo

Ken Scott talks at Abbey Road Studios about recording epic sounding drums

Tomás de Camino Beck is our first producer featured in Costa Rica

Andy Bell, Hannah James & Sam Sweeny talking recording folk with Russ Cottier

George Shilling interviews Parisian born and classically trained Dimitri Tikovoi

Jake Jackson talks about recording Dr Who scores at Air Studios

Stuart Hamilton raves about his new desk at Castle Sound in Edinburgh

Abbey Road engineer’s Sam Okell and Chris Bolster feature

Danton Supple’s latest interview talking about recording Coldplay

Simon Efemey talks about the challenges in recording Metal

Chestnut Studio’s Chris Young feature in a very Space Age studio

Click here to visit the full list of producers featured.

Be featured

Would you like to be featured? It’s free! Just ask us to visit and if you’re too far away get a friend to record a video to send us – or send us the bus fare!

We are looking for new contributors who can spend a day a month recording features or writing blogs in areas that we can’t get to – sadly we have very little money but will do our best to cover costs and will give you lots of exposure. Please get in touch if you’re interested.

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We met up with ex-SARM Studios engineer Edd Hartwell at George Shilling’s studio to chat about his recording methods and we were keen to find out how serving an apprenticeship under such legends as Trevor Horn and Steve Lipson has shaped his career so far.

Edd started his musical career playing guitar and saxophone in bands until a love of recording studios and sound engineering was discovered. Edd has worked with the likes of Tony Visconti, Guy Massey, Stephen Lipson, Jim Abbiss and Trevor Horn on a regular basis, racking up UK number 1 albums and a Grammy nomination for best engineered album. Credits include The Noisettes, Ed Sheeran, Jeff Beck, The Kooks, The Prodigy, Kt Tunstall and Yes, amongst others.

Click here to watch the video 

Photographs of Edd Hartwell are in this picture gallery