Spot The Suspect Traveller – By Fran Ashcroft

Spot The Suspect Traveller
By Fran Ashcroft

People think there’s something vaguely glamourous about being a record producer, jet setting all over the place, don’t they? But we know the reality is rather different.

I like to travel light when I fly, carry on bag only. This immediately rings alarm bells at customs and immigration, especially in the USA. Obviously you’re up to no good if you don’t have half a dozen suitcases in tow, especially if you look remotely like a music person.

The ordeal starts at security for your departure flight. Not just the usual take your jacket off take the stuff out of your pockets take your shoes off take your socks off palava, but they have to question you on the contents of your bag as well.

Seattle airport, for example -

“What’s this?” A cigarette tin. They have a good sniff.

“What’s that?” “An alarm clock. You wind it up.” Not a bomb from a Roadrunner cartoon, sorry.

Then there was the x-raying the plastic carrier bag of chocolate biscuits I’d brought with me, and best of all a real grilling over two old mics I was carrying -

“What are these?”

“Microphones.”

I was asked to plug them in to prove it, and had to patiently explain they don’t actually plug directly into the electricity supply – but if they happened to have a PA system around I could demonstrate!

Mercifully, since the digital revolution, I don’t do that much travelling at all anymore – such is the power of file exchange. The vast majority of my work now is conveniently done here with all the comforts of home and no choclolate biscuit issues at all…