THE COMPRESSOR SEES THE LIGHT…. HALLELUJAH
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die!
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
Don’t knock procrastination. It saves lots of useful work.
Who says worry doesn’t help? All those things I worry about don’t happen.
Love your enemies. They’ll go crazy trying to figure out what you’re up to.
All of which would be applicable if the Compressor wasn’t such a committed non-believer….yes, the chosen one is a proud atheist! However, it does come with its downsides.
Firstly, from a mathematical perspective, it’s a dumb trade. If there is a God, then by the time I find out, I’m royally screwed. He’s hardly going to let me through the gates is he? I’ve spent my whole life saying ‘Prove it and I’ll believe!’ If there isn’t a God…then by the time I find out….it won’t matter as I’ll be dead…and no-one can hear you when you’re dead! So, probability is not an atheists friend.
Secondly, when you’re an atheist your prayers don’t work. Take recently…I’ve been praying for the Gooners. I pray that Roman Abramovich is really a drug smuggler and will be caught, the Glazer geezer is discovered downloading kiddy porn (well, have you seen what he looks like?) and that Gillette-Hicks would disappear to invent a new razor for pregnant women that when used to shave…induces labour..or something (see what I did there?) The respective owners of Chelsea, Man U and Liverpool would be forced to carry out a fire-sale of their top players before their fall, allowing Arsenal to canter past the finishing post to win the Premiership for the next few years…..I’m still waiting.
Well, this week I started to wonder if there was a God. Three things happened:
Miracle 1
I got a booking for a 5.1 mix….full rate…one bloke…two days…no mess….no staying over….two cups of coffee….and we got to watch a clip or two of a new movie coming out soon. It must have been a message from God. I’m the first to say how much I love music….but look at the choice….a 5 piece band from the Forest of Dean called ‘Tornado in a Studio’…generally wrecking the joint whilst paying the downtime rate, breaking things for fun and High 6’ing each other (sorry…that was uncalled for) or the former described booking??
Miracle 2
British Gas didn’t call for a whole day
Miracle 3
My Head Engineer turned up for work on Tuesday ON TIME!!!
Religion, as they say, is the waccy baccy of the people.
TTFN
The Compressor
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.