Fran Ashcroft – Peeling Off Acker
Hi there boys and girls in Studioland! The selection boxes are appearing in the shops, so we’ve got just the thing for your stocking this Xmas – sod Antares, just get the Paper Jamz Pro Microphone – it’s the hot toy this year. “Virtually anyone can sound like Justin Bieber or The Black-Eyed Peas”, oh boy, I can’t wait.
Yep, here it is folks, an autotune mic for only $29.99! With four modes – Chorus, Harmony, Vibrato and Perfect Melody. I’ve been looking for a Perfect Melody for about 40 years, to be honest. ”During a brief demonstration, the Perfect Pitch technology was remarkably effective, turning a teenage girl’s somewhat off-pitch and rather thin voice into a pleasant-sounding melody”. At last my dreams have come true.
It’s a definite step up from the four string plastic guitar with a big sticker of Acker Bilk And His Jazzmen on it I had to settle for in 1963 because they hadn’t made Beatles ones yet. I had to peel off old Acker right away, I’m afraid.
